this just in

  • Flatmate: Have you been on facebook today?
  • Me: No... why?
  • Flatmate: He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is learning Italian apparently. To the point where he actually has a teacher.
  • Me: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM.
  • Flatmate: He's also playing football and is on a diet [ed. we're all assuming that means no Coke].
  • Me: He'd need to leave the house to play football.
  • Flatmate: ...
  • Me: ...
  • Flatmate: I think he wants you back.
  • Me: I think he wants a punch in the face.